This is a bit of a story about Perimenopause and the journey towards Menopause.
I recently went on a travel odyssey (more about the full 3 weeks of learning soon)…
It began in the woods of Massachusetts where I took part in an incredible gathering of healers wanting to focus upon the growing debilitating effects of hormonal change in perimenopausal women.
This retreat taught me that I need to be even more vocal about the layers of what is happening when a woman essentially finally gets the chance to hold on to her own blood and no longer pour forth the monthly possibility of building another human life.
I am 52 years old and have worked hard to be, have and find the right support so that I can report what I know is possible:
My own transition from perimenopause to menopause was smooth and I am now feeling better than ever in my life because I received what I needed when I needed it.
I have also done this for hundreds of other women.
I used my learning from previous personal illnesses and all of my years as a coach, acupuncturist and herbalist supporting humans through change as a way for me to know that I must do for myself first, and THEN all other things will follow.
Here is what I did and teach others to do:
I cut out chemicals in my house and food as often as possible, I received herbs that helped my body, I received acupuncture or massage or chiropractic care at least monthly, I did a thoughtful rotation of topical progesterone and other supplements according to symptoms, especially magnesium and methylated b vitamins and was sure to get sun exposure, I changed my diet to more protein and vegetables, usually avoided cow dairy and gluten (knowing neither felt great for me), I walked and did deep stretching (Bowspring yoga with Dorie Silverman) and dancing (Renee Trudeau) more than any other forms of exercise, I prioritized sleeping well consistently, including napping (yoga Nidra and meditation) when I could, I sought out and got excellent coaching and mentoring (Su Slover and so many others) for the emotional turmoil and movement into the next portion of my life, all because most importantly I knew I needed to…
Consciously chose to change with the change.
My 3rd mother taught me so much throughout her life and tragic death because I watched her spend most of her adult life trying to get back to something that was no longer possible.
She struggled endlessly with the belief that what she wanted felt viscerally possible to get back to and important because her worth was wrapped up in the previous struggle that had gotten her what she wanted, at an earlier time in her life.
The run up to and actual menopause arrival is a chance to look at your life as it IS and see how you are applying old ideas to current circumstances. It is a chance to look at stepping into your next iteration of self.
“I’ve got to get back to exercising!” can mean an old way of doing that no longer works because how you once exercised is now too much for your current body and causes inflammation. This inflammation throws off hormones and sleep and mood further, even though after completing the workout you feel accomplished and relieved in the moment. On top of this: Your wise body knows this old way of doing is too much and therefore you find yourself procrastinating and then hearing your brain saying how you: “should be doing what you know works!”.
“I’ve got to go to intermittent fasting again!!” can mean that it “worked” for you to do that a few years ago but your hormones are too few now and your blood too undernourished for this sort of shock – even if it works so well for others/your husband.
I could go on and on.
What I learned at the retreat dedicated to looking at the current state of menopause is that I will be speaking up about what is possible if you are willing to look at what is not working and seek a larger view of what is actually possible.
We women are used to struggling – it’s why the Barbie Movie made so many cry with recognition…something in popular culture was finally saying in simple terms: “This is all LUDICROUS. You are so much more than the struggle to be what someone else thinks you should be.” (men and women alike)
Menopause is the biggest invitation you are ever going to receive into the concept of “You get to be who you are, and where you are right now, so that you can see how to take care of the you that is here. Go forward with all you have learned and see what is exhausting your vital self so much that the old tricks are no longer tricking your wise body.”
At one point during the retreat I said that we are struggling more now with these hormonal issues than in past generations.
I truly believe this.
I know history is recorded by men and that our own culture does not care to study what women’s bodies most need – that is all true and certainly needs to be looked at and continue to be changed. It is most important to me however, to see other aspects that can mitigate suffering right now. I believe that change is happening – I myself am a part of that change – and more women can begin caring for themselves and receiving care in ways that help them become a part of the change they want to see.
The wild uptick in the symptoms we are seeing are due to a whole host of circumstances including:
Chemical exposure at levels that for certain one to two generations ago did not exist.
Sugar intake that absolutely no generation on earth has ever had to metabolize.
Depleted soil lacking the nutrients that help your system function at a level that allows for natural hormone shifts.
Trying to live in an earlier iteration of the self as culture tells us to do, one that needed less sleep because there was more vital essence to borrow from in the body.
Going into the changes of perimenopause depleted because: see above.
Literally the conscious and unconscious thinking of “You as a woman must do everything because anything is possible!” (how can we reckon the very need for slowness and deep sleep with that raging in our minds?)
Beginning the menstrual cycle with severe struggle and never finding balance without chemical control of the body.
Constant feelings of exhaustion because of believing there is never an end to what we must finish/needs to be done.
Not understanding just how important and incredible each function of the body is and how miraculous it is to be shifting into an entirely different way of being after decades and decades.
Not understanding how important the period is for releasing emotions, toxins and fluids no longer needed by the body.
Not understanding what a miraculous portal-of-growth era it is to finally have your own essence not released monthly and how to choose to release emotionally and physically from powerful choices and habits instead.
Let’s normalize transitions that make transformation possible.
I am going to do what I can to build this change by beginning a podcast about my coaching – my 1:1 coaching is usually full with a wait list these days and I don’t yet want to do a larger group experience with more reach while I am still raising a teen at home.
I hope to support as many people as I can, so I can be the change I want to see and know is possible with the right care at the right time.
Here’s me at the dance party we enjoyed the last night of the MENObundance Retreat designed and facilitated by Drs. Claudia Citkovitz and Lisa Taylor-Swanson! Photo by my new good pal, Chinese Medical doc Holly Battrum.